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# Sleep on the Hearth

...yawning at home before the fire of life

## Sitemaps

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## Posts

- [Blog](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/blog)
- [2013 CD release concert](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/2013-cd-release-concert.html) - My CD release concert on May 18th was wonderful—it was a rich experience for me on many levels, and I hope everyone else enjoyed it as much as I did. I performed the ten songs from Go in Peace with Bobby Medcalf on drums and Tess Evans Clark on guitar and vocals. My niece Kristina
- [Worship 1](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/worship-1.html) - Snoring. Prayer. Jackets. Water bottles. Late-comers. Free-floating anxiety squatting on the buttons of adrenaline. Interminable. Then a grace, a clear space at last. Silence that hears nothing but itself. Silence that rolls down, then away. Molten lead that circles out, enveloping the feet of Friends on either side....
- [Go in Peace - the album](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/about-my-music.html) - In 2013 I created an album called Go in Peace, which includes ten of my original songs. To read more about the CD and listen to some short samples, see the album notes. Purchasing Interested in purchasing my music? Thank you! I'm very grateful—every sale means a lot to me. Buy a CD directly from
- [Pattern](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/pattern.html) - Talking about deep silence in a recent interview, the poet David Whyte mentioned "The ability to see to the center of the pattern." That's written on a big imaginary piece of paper in my mind today, towards the left side of the paper....
- [The Gerbil Thief](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-gerbil-thief.html) - My (kind of goofy) short story "The Gerbil Thief," which I originally posted in 2022, is now narrated by the lovely and talented Annika Stenstedt... check it out!
- [That Sound](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/that-sound.html) - Jen steps up to the yellow line on the train platform, thinking that today she'll make an appointment, get herself checked out to make sure nothing's wrong. Rule out anything serious, so she can stop worrying. As if to confirm the wisdom of this idea, it happens again. Her neck makes that sound as she turns her head
- [Evidence](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/evidence.html) - Barefoot in the dirt outside our tent in the dark, I bend back my head and open my heart to the night. I hope to see heaven unravel as galaxies take up the thread then spin, then stretch, as vast, practiced hands join woof with warp until smooth folds of time become measureless yards of absence and substance— endless bolts of evidence unrolling across the sky. Meanwhile, one by one, after billion-year trips, photons land without fanfare in my eyes, in my hair, each quantum a jewel that graces the dirt where I stand.
- [Finding the clear mirror](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/finding-the-clear-mirror.html) - "You who want knowledge, seek the Oneness within. There you will find the clear mirror already waiting." What was the great spiritual insight of Hadewijch?
- [No wonder it was good](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/no-wonder-it-was-good.html) - My mom's Grasshopper Pie recipe reads like a story about her take on living. I cherish several things about this recipe. First, note the ingredients: creme-filled chocolate cookies, butter, marshmallows, milk, whipped cream, and booze. "Eat today, for tomorrow you may diet," my mom would often say. Next, note the experimentation that took place; the strikeouts are in her hand-written copy of the recipe. Did it happen that, on some occasion, we were offered a 6-serving pie that contained 6 ounces of crème de menthe (15% alcohol) and 3 ounces of creme de cacao (25% alcohol)? That's 1.5 ounces of liquor per piece of pie, and I remember being a little kid when she would make this. Also, it was almost impossible to stop at one piece. Glad she toned it down! :-)
- [That door](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/that-door.html) - I've watched that locked wooden door for decades. Today on a walk, imagining, I step closer. It is tall, and deep crimson. Painted slowly. Its round brass doorknob begs to be turned, and its keyhole is big enough to look through. I kneel to look, and I see cold spring grass, green as only California hills can green it. Lilacs and daffodils, sprung wild from bulbs even the squirrels forgot. Live oaks and laurels; wild-rye and trillium; rare pallid manzanitas that grow only between here and El Sobrante. I stumble back, stand, blink. Good God, it's not what I thought.
- [Pandemic poems](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/pandemic-poems.html) - I've received two beautiful ones in email, and I'm sharing them here. If you know of more, please send them to me. I find them helpful and comforting during this strange time.
- [Ghost whispering](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/ghost-whispering.html) - This is the upper-left corner of a postcard that my grandmother, Emily Harriet, wrote to her younger sister Mary Joe in, let's say, the 1910s. On the back is a photo of the Federal P. O. Building in San Antonio, Texas. It was a towered castle worthy of a haunting, and it's now long gone. So maybe it, too, has become a ghost....
- [Weather](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/weather.html) - Why do I love tales of space travel when I know my heart would break if never again could I walk beneath these clouds?
- [Getaway](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/getaway.html) - Just as I pushed "Up," the elevator doors opened, and out stepped a guy in a tweed overcoat, buttoned, collar up. A hospital gown peeked out below the coat, barely covering the spindly bare knees, and bright yellow no-slip socks covered his feet. He shot me a guilty look, then broke into a trot as he hustled across the lobby toward the doors. "Wait!" I shouted, as he exited into the winter sunshine. "Stan!" The guard behind the lobby desk followed Stan with his eyes, then turned to me. "No worries," he said. "Happens all the time. We'll get 'im."
- [It's a collection](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/sleep-on-the-hearth.html) - This site is full of things that interest me and that I’ve created—photos I’ve taken; a few of my short stories and poems; blog posts about this & that; info about spiritual direction and my music. I named the site "Sleep on the Hearth" in reference to one of my favorite poems, D. H. Lawrence's "Pax"....
- [My music keeps finding its way forward!](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/go-in-peace-is-on-a-compilation.html) - I'm proud to have my song "Go in Peace" included on the latest album from Abbey of the Arts, The Love of Thousands: Singing with Angels, Saints & Ancestors. It's humbling to have my music placed among songs from beautiful artists whose music I cherish, including MaMuse, Melanie DeMore, and Karen Drucker. The album accompanies
- [Behind the Glass—a short story](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/behind-the-glass-a-short-story.html) - Oh, you're dead, I don't deny it. But are you fully ... gone?
- [That one thing...](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/that-one-thing.html) - Luke 10:41-42 "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "...only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." At Sky Farm, I would set the meditation timer on my phone, then just sit. Or kneel. But what then? During the first few days, these silences were
- [Spiritual direction](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/spiritual-direction.html) - A spiritual director is a compassionate, concerned observer whose task is to help people notice the ways in which Spirit is moving in their lives....
- [How to find a spiritual director](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/how-do-i-find-a-spiritual-director.html) - Ask around at your place of worship, or check the Spiritual Directors International Seek and Find Guide. Spiritual direction is not a licensed profession in any state or country, as far as I know, so it’s up to you to ask questions and make sure that you feel comfortable with whomever you select as your spiritual director.
- [About supervision](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/about-supervision.html) - Ideally, every spiritual director should be under some type of supervision. The differences between spiritual direction and therapy, pastoral counseling, friendship, and caretaking are sometimes tricky to discern, and meeting regularly with a supervisor or supervision group can help.
- [5 steps to becoming a spiritual director](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/how-to-become-a-spiritual-director.html) - If you feel that you might have a calling as a spiritual director, the first step is to begin seeing a spiritual director yourself. Step 1: Find your own spiritual director....
- [My master's thesis—chaplains and racial bias](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/my-masters-thesis-chaplains-and-racial-bias.html) - How U.S.-based healthcare chaplains perceive and can mitigate the effects of bias towards racialized groups in U.S. healthcare institutions
- [Why charge a fee? And how much?](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/why-charge-a-fee-and-how-much.html) - I’ve come to peace with charging money for offering spiritual direction. In fact, I believe that my charging a fee benefits my directees, and not just me. Why?
- [The soul mirror](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-soul-mirror.html) - Psalm 69:18, ICEL Face me, I am desperate. The first time I walked the outdoor labyrinth at Mercy Center Burlingame was the first time I walked any labyrinth. I had no expectations. Right away, the path led me close to the center, which surprised me. Here so soon? But the path kept going, so I kept going.
- [Album notes](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/album-notes-2.html) - Album credits Words and music by Katarina Stenstedt Vocals, guitars, bass, and keyboard by Katarina Stenstedt Drums and percussion by Bobby Medcalf Vocal harmony on "Kristina's Song" by the lovely and talented Kristina Dunworth Produced by Bobby Medcalf and Katarina Stenstedt Recorded and engineered by Gene Anderson Mastered by Masaki Photography and album design by
- [What I said at her service](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/what-i-said-at-her-service.html) - My mom, Dorothy Stenstedt, died on May 19, 2022, and we had her Celebration of Life on August 14—first a church service, then a party. Here’s what I said at the service.
- [Art, spirit, and the old-lady icon](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/art-spirituality-and-the-old-lady-icon.html) - The image on the cover of Shirley du Boulay's An Extraordinary Life is from an 18th c. painting, and as in all famous images of Teresa of Avila, Teresa is lovely, and maybe 17. So when I read what she looked like when she got to the point in her life where she had real authority, it made me wish there were icons of her looking like this:
- [The painful bright](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-painful-bright.html) - Romans 13:11 The hour has come for you to wake up. It is the first Sunday of Advent. We begin our vigil, waiting for the light. Sometimes I feel ambivalent about the coming of the light. When the light comes, justice will come; when justice comes, I might be found on the wrong side of
- [Inversion](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/inversion.html) - Romans 13:11 But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. The night is about over, dawn is about to break. Be up and awake to what God is doing! (The Message)
- [A good book](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-good-book.html) - My review of Candlelight, by Susan Phillips.
- [Mary and Mary](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/mary-and-mary.html) - Mary and Mary cried through that long, hellish nightAt last day was dawning, the grey dissolved in the lightThey ran to the grave. ...where they were shocked by an angelwho shook the ground with his newsHis face sparked like lightning, flashing & blindingHe said, Don't be afraid: Jesus lives, he lives - let his life
- [What's revealed (Easter 7)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/whats-revealed-easter-7.html) - John 17:3 Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God.... Eternal life starts before we die, and eternal life is to know something, something that changes the way we live. We had a series of powerful storms here in the Bay Area this winter. The rain felt endless, but during
- [Spiritual direction training](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/spiritual-direction-training.html) - For more about becoming a spiritual director, see "5 steps to becoming a spiritual director." Many seminaries and retreat centers offer training programs…here are a few that I’m familiar with in the United States....
- [Laid aside for you](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/laid-aside-for-you.html) - The Methodist covenant prayer I am no longer my own but yours. Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will; put me to doing, put me to suffering; let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you, exalted for you, or brought low for you; let me be full,
- [First Principle and Foundation](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/first-principle-and-foundation.html) - More on D. H. Lawrence’s “Pax”....
- [Spiritual direction agreement](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/spiritual-direction-agreement.html) - When someone contacts me about meeting for spiritual direction, I am curious to learn what the person is expecting and hoping for from direction, and how the logistics of a direction relationship would work for them and for me. It's a chance for both of us to get a sense of each other and whether we are a good match.
- [Supervision agreement](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/supervision-agreement.html) - I ask my supervisees to read and sign a boilerplate agreement that covers some general ground: what services I can and can't provide, our agreed-to rate for payment, my commitment to confidentiality, and the limits that I must put on confidentiality in exceptional cases.
- [Contemplative Music for the Journey](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/latest-news.html) - The ten songs on my 2013 album Go in Peace are available on iTunes and Amazon, or you can buy the whole CD directly from me for $10 plus shipping. If you'd like to learn more, check out these listening samples and lyrics for Go in Peace.
- [To be found](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/to-be-found.html) - Suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won't she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, "Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin." (Luke 15:8–9)
- [Pang (a poem about preaching)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/pang-a-poem-about-preaching.html) - What can sustain us through the Winter?
- [A rain poem](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-rain-poem.html) - The Favor (for Cookie the neighbor cat)
- [Handmade (a poem about evidence)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/handmade.html) - I gaze at the heavens, searching for you, my God. (Ps. 123:1, ICEL Psalter)
- [How these things are forgotten](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/how-these-things-are-forgotten.html) - In "The Bowl of Roses" (full text below), the poet Rilke spends eight lines painting an ugly picture. And then: But now you know how these things are forgotten: for here before you stands a bowl full of roses... Thus begin sixty-four exquisite lines of instruction on how these things are forgotten.
- [I am from](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/i-am-from.html) - A friend requested “I am from” poems for her birthday. This is mine.
- [The Canvas](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-canvas.html) - Let's make a day that we will never forget - out on the riverYou be the sailor, and I'll be the blueof the sky in the summer at noon. Honey, you be the water, and I'll be the sunYou'll be my canvas, and before the wind we'll runYou be the waves that everyone can seeand
- [Go in Peace - the song](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/go-in-peace.html) - Go in peace, you are loved, you are lovedGo in peace, you are lovedGo with God, you are loved, you are lovedGo with God, you are loved The God who wove you in the darkthe one whose rough hands made your hearthad you in mind before the dawn of timeThe one who gazed with gentle
- [Lord of the Waves](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/lord-of-the-waves.html) - You walked all night to meet your friendsas the waves washed the soles of your feetThey saw you far off; they screamed in fright"Is it real? It's a ghost that we see!" Take courage my friends, it is I, don't be afraidTake courage my friends, it is I, Lord of the waves" Lord, if it's
- [Bless These Hands](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/bless-these-hands.html) - O maker of the garden, hold these handsGive them the patience that they needto press the tiny seeds into the dirtand wait ... wait ... for new life to show God, you turn a burial into a seed’s new chance at lifeYou draw us from the darkness to the light O life within the garden,
- [Sewing](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/sewing.html) - You were sewing for mebolts and bobbins, scissors, fabric, bright debrisNo other project could fiton the table of my life while your work covered it You hold a dream, in colors you conceived for meimagined long agoAnd your thread holds across eternity -- You were looking at meDid I see some mischief in your smile, some
- [Words of Life](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/words-of-life.html) - The starving were crowding him, he spoke of eternal breadHis very own blood and flesh - shocked, people leftBut he turned to the twelve to ask how they feltWould they leave like the rest? Then Peter confessed: You have the words of eternal lifeWhere else would we go? He left the crowds by boat, asleep
- [You Set My Heart Free](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/you-set-my-heart-free.html) - I used to think the rules were thereTo save me from my freedom and make me goodTo keep my feelings in their place, and never let my will escapeTo never choose, but just obey - I thought surrender was that way. I used to think that freedom meant to leave the trail and wander by
- [Psalm 42](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/psalm-42.html) - I say to God my rock, "Why have you forgotten me?Why must I go about taunted by my enemy?"Voices question me, saying, Where is your God?Where is your God? Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfallsAnd all of your waves have swept over meNo piece of myself is the way that it
- [Kristina's Song](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/kristinas-song.html) - Tomorrow is your day—sleep tonight and know you’re safeAnd as you fall asleep, the angels who protect you will be singin’ ... Kristina is loved, she is lovedKristina is loved, she is loved. Tomorrow you will meet the people in your familyAs you take your first big breath, the angels who surround you will be
- [Putting your inner critic to work](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/putting-your-inner-critic-to-work.html) - A few years ago my inner critic was not only speaking to me a lot, but it was also easier than usual for me to "hear." What I mean is that I was able to notice my critic's voice in real time and write down what it said. During that time I always kept a
- [If I repair a little of myself](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/if-i-repair-a-little-of-myself.html) - "...Those wounds stay with you, and you turn them into a language and a purpose." Gesturing toward the band onstage, he said, "We're repairmen—repairmen with a toolbox. If I repair a little of myself, I'll repair a little of you. That's the job." —Bruce Springsteen, as quoted in The New Yorker.* When my aunt Marjorie
- [Boot of +10 Depression](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/boot-of-10-depression.html) - Early this year I had a short episode of almost-but-not-quite depression, and it arrived along with an image of what happens for me during the worst of those times, which hasn't happened for almost 20 years: A giant boot descends and plants itself on my chest, and I'm unable to move or negotiate. It's enormous,
- [Strong the love embracing us](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/strong-the-love-embracing-us.html) - Praise! Give glory to God! Nations, peoples, give glory! Strong the love embracing us. Faithful the Lord for ever. (Ps. 117, ICEL) The ICEL Psalter, published in 1994 "for study and comment," bears the imprimatur, a declaration from the Catholic church that a book is free of moral and doctrinal error. The imprimatur was revoked in 1998,
- [God breathing](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/god-breathing.html) - Psalm 33:6, ICEL God speaks: the heavens are made; God breathes: the stars shine. About 10,000 galaxies appear in the Hubble ultra-deep-field image. A detail is shown to the left, and the full image is at the bottom of this post. It's a real picture, not an artist's rendition, and some of the galaxies in
- [Noveliferous](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/noveliferous.html) - A long story came into my head, and for a year I wrote it down. And then I stopped. My perfectionism had tied me on a short leash, and I finally went around the pole enough times that the slack was gone. What unwound me was a writing instructor whose message is "just keep writing." You don't have
- [Grounded by the bare copper cross (Lent)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/grounded-by-the-bare-copper-cross.html) - I have a vivid memory of being shocked when I was 11 or 12 years old. We'd just shampooed the livingroom carpet, and it was evening. In my bare feet, in the dark, I shuffled across the wet carpet to a lamp. I fumbled with the switch, but the light didn't come on. Maybe there
- [September paths, so many choices](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/september-paths-so-many-choices.html) - I love the shapes of the paths in Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve, where I went this morning. Note the small rock spiral at the bottom of this photo, and the Burning Man shape at the top right.
- [What's *that* doing here?](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/whats-that-doing-here.html) - I've been walking outdoor labyrinths lately—I love doing this! I've experienced these labyrinths as enclosed, safe containers that hold me and all that's growing in me... ...spaces that honor interior privacy, thanks to the custom of silence and the narrowness of the path... ...sources of nonlinear reverses and surprises that take me close to the
- [One eye clear](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/one-eye-clear.html) - This is one corner of a soul collage, or soul card, that I made last week. One eye stays clear, in spite of trouble revealed from within and distortions layered on top. (I'd like to find a generic term for this process: SoulCollage® is copyrighted, and "soul card" can refer to tarot, but this video
- [Bigger. And more interesting.](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/bigger-and-more-interesting.html) - Psalm 63:6 On my bed I remember you— I think of you through the watches of the night. I have a medical test coming up, and last night I lay awake spinning out possibilities. I'm not God, I'm not a doctor, and I don't possess the facts. Even so, I want to believe I can
- [He walks in on it (Pentecost)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/he-walks-in-on-it-pentecost.html) - John 20:19-20 On the evening of that day, when the disciples were together with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them.... Here's how I imagine it. Mary, Peter, and John are telling their stories from the morning, piecing it together—electrified, exuberant. But some in the room are
- [Service](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/service.html) - I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy. Tagore
- [God's sky-jewelry (Trinity Sunday)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/gods-sky-jewelry-trinity-sunday.html) - Psalm 8:3 (Message) I look up at your macro-skies, dark and enormous, your handmade sky-jewelry, Moon and stars mounted in their settings. The Genesis creation stories put an order to things: first this, then that. Or no. Hold on. First that, then this. We're told two stories, and they contradict. I don't mind, though. The
- [Sabbath, a vexation](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/sabbath-a-vexation.html) - I received a few comments from people taking me seriously, so just to make my intentions crystal clear, I'll tell you that the following post is meant to be ironic. I guess I need to work on my humor skillz...! Exodus 20:10 Thou shalt not do any work. Who would say that to you? Maybe a
- [The snare](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-snare.html) - Ps. 124:7b ...the snare has been broken, and we have escaped. I imagine that when snared animals are set free, if their wounds are not mortal, they bolt into the forest as fast as they can go. Hurt, but free. Once in a while these injured creatures (the ones inside of me, anyway) come shyly
- [A non-anxious presence](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-non-anxious-presence.html) - I was recently in western Michigan at a retreat, and I spent time with Lake Michigan—a living being, a new and subtle friend. The sun on the water, the rocks, the rain, the waves that were loud one day and quiet the next. A lake that curls like the ocean, yet smells like plain water. During
- [The inner round table](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-inner-round-table.html) - Psalm 51:6 You desire truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart. In the metaphor of the inner round table, I gather whatever is true inside me around the central and organizing Truth. That central and organizing Truth is like the steady flame of a candle. In gathering the parts
- [A trip to Sky Farm Hermitage](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-trip-to-sky-farm-hermitage.html) - All I do is find my thread, you know. ....—Father Dunstan, the monk who inherited Sky Farm Last week I had the chance to spend five nights at Sky Farm. Deep solitude. Deep silence. By deep silence, what I actually mean is the wind in the oaks, the California quail yelling chi-CA-go!, chi-CA-go!, the wild turkeys
- [The graceful pace](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-graceful-pace.html) - Plants and animals live in peaceful concord with the movement of the days and seasons, and I doubt that time stresses them out. They just live inside it. I, on the other hand, speak as if I were able to use time, make time, kill time, and even save time. Maybe time threatens me. At Sky Farm, I took an
- [Undecorated](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/undecorated.html) - (Irony alert! I'm about to use words to describe the wordless.) When I went to Sky Farm in April, I was afraid God wouldn't meet me there, and in a way, God didn't. I arrived uncomfortably full of other people's words about God. I needed interior privacy, a time to let other people's ideas wait outside. "I
- [Surprises](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/surprises.html) - Acts 1:9–11 Jesus rose from the dead (Easter), appeared to various people over the course of forty-plus days (the Easter season), ascended into heaven (Ascension), then sent the Holy Spirit to those he had left behind (Pentecost)—a series of terrifying, beautiful surprises. Today is the sixth Saturday of Easter; Thursday was Ascension Day; Pentecost is
- [The last thing anyone saw](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-last-thing-anyone-saw.html) - John 20:17Jesus said, "Go to my brothers and tell them, 'I ascend to my Father and your Father, my God and your God.'" Acts 1:9After he said this, he was taken up before their very eyes, and a cloud hid him from their sight.In York Minster, I remember seeing the soles of Jesus' feet depicted
- [Flowers like flames](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/flowers-like-flames.html) - Acts 2:1–4The flames separated and settled on each of them....Ten years ago at this time I was on a retreat at Our Lady of Solitude in the Sonoran Desert in Arizona.During most of my three and a half weeks at OLS, the only other retreatant was an abbess on sabbatical from her convent in India.
- [1. Craving](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/1-craving.html) - Psalm 63:1O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. When I look down into myself, I see that the bottom of the well is continuously in need of refilling. I'm tired, thirsty,
- [Lent and repentance](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/lent-and-repentance.html) - Psalm 51:6 Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart. In The People's Companion to the Breviary, Psalm 51 comes up not only on days like Ash Wednesday, but every Friday morning, rain or shine. The Carmelites of Indianapolis, who created the People's Companion, phrase
- [2. Sustenance](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/2-sustenance.html) - Psalm 63:2 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Where? Where do you see God? Where are you when you get those fleeting glimpses of the real thing? Outdoors? Tucking a child into bed? Whispering a prayer of gratitude? Reading a great book? Petting a dog? Singing in
- [3. Uniquely](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/3-uniquely.html) - Psalm 63:7I sing in the shadow of your wings. Sometimes it's done in a shadow, in obscurity. Not standing on a box in the middle of downtown. Heh - I love that.
- [Ex nihilo](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/ex-nihilo.html) - Psalm 18:16-19 But me he caught—reached all the way from sky to sea; he pulled me out Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos, the void in which I was drowning. They hit me when I was down, but God stuck by me. He stood me up on a wide-open field; I stood there
- [She saw in the dark](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/she-saw-in-the-dark.html) - John 20:1 On Sunday morning while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance. 11–12 Mary Magdalene stood crying outside the tomb. She was still weeping when she stooped down and saw two angels inside. 14–15 [Mary] turned around and saw
- [What can come out of the dark?](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/what-can-come-out-of-the-dark.html) - John 20:11–14The disciples then went back homebut Mary stood outside the tomb weeping.As she wept, she knelt to look into the tomband saw two angels sitting there....They said to her, "Woman, why do you weep?""They took my Master," she said,"and I don't know where they put him."After she said this, she turned away and saw
- [Present only there](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/present-only-there.html) - John 20:13"Dear woman, why are you crying?" the angels asked her.Because my dad's gone, and I don't know where he is.Because I saw him cry like that.Because twice, I held him as he cried.Because of the loneliness of the people where he lived.Because he left me a long time ago, and I miss him.Because our
- [What can come out of the dark? -part 2-](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/what-can-come-out-of-the-dark-part-2.html) - John 20:11–12...As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been...
- [Looking for someone else](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/looking-for-someone-else.html) - John 20:14At this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.Jesus, I don't want this to be you. I would guess that Mary saw only two options: Jesus was either dead, or he was alive. She had seen him die and knew he was dead. Then
- [The breath of God: new life](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-breath-of-god-new-life.html) - John 20:22 And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said unto them, "Receive ye the Holy Ghost. I planted bulbs about a month ago, and this photo shows four tiny shoots above the ground. Can you see them? I can, but only because I have felt them with my fingertips. It
- [Unstill Epiphany](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/unstill-epiphany.html)
- ["I think he's hiding," she said](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/i-think-hes-hiding-she-said.html) - Isaiah 45:15a You are a God who hides yourself. I boarded the shuttle to work last Monday with a cloud over my head. A lot's been going on. The bus was almost full. I sat in the second row behind the driver, next to a young woman whose laptop was open on her knees, its
- [Staying with Jesus](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/staying-with-jesus.html) - John 19:38–42[My paraphrase...] Two wealthy men who've been pretending not to be Jesus' disciples come forward to claim his dead body, prepare it for burial, and lay it in a tomb.I've been working my way through the gospel of John, and for round about a year I've been mired in the crucifixion. Jesus' willingness to
- [No, it's not about comfort.](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/no-its-not-about-comfort.html) - John 11:1–45v. 37: But some of them said, "Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?"It's the fifth Sunday in Lent, and the first anniversary of my dad's death. The story of Lazarus's death and resurrection (or resuscitation?) was very alive to me during March of
- [In my right mind](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/in-my-right-mind.html) - Luke 8:26–39 Jesus cast a squadron of demons out of a crazy guy. And then... ...they found the man from whom the demons had gone out, sitting at Jesus' feet, dressed and in his right mind; and they were afraid. At the 8 a.m. contemplative mass at St. Cuthbert's, a twenty-minute silence follows the reading
- [Who takes care of me?](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/who-takes-care-of-me.html) - Luke 10:25–37But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"That is, "Who must I love if I want to inherit eternal life?" And then Jesus hit him with the story of the good Samaritan:A man is robbed and beaten. A man just like the lawyer asking the question, perhaps?
- [My cupboard is bare](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/my-cupboard-is-bare.html) - Luke 11:1–13 ... Teach us to pray. Hmm. ...one of [Jesus'] disciples said to him, "Lord, teach us to pray..." ...Then he said to them, "Suppose one of you has a friend, and she goes to that friend at midnight and says, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on
- [A maddeningly long wait](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-maddeningly-long-wait.html) - Luke 12:32–40It will be good for those servants whose master finds them ready, even if he comes in the middle of the night or toward daybreak. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what hour the thief was coming, he would not have let his house be broken into.Okay, so...Servant
- [Waves of sand](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/waves-of-sand.html) - Luke 13:10–17 When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity."Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God. I had a dream a few weeks ago that has already served me a few times as a touchstone.
- [Unenlightenment](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/unenlightenment.html) - Luke 1:35... and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.On the surface, fame; deeper down, obscurity. The angel has just told Mary that she will be famous, and she wonders how this will come about, given her empty state. The angel's answer? Among other things, Mary will be overshadowed.Overshadowed. Light will be blocked.
- [What the angel could mean](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/what-the-angel-could-mean.html) - Luke 1:29Confused and disturbed, Mary tried to think what the angel could mean.This evening I parked in the garage behind the YMCA, walked to the elevator, and pushed the call button. The doors opened and a tall woman stepped out. I only saw her for a few seconds as she passed, but in those few
- [The easiest, hardest thing](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/the-easiest-hardest-thing.html) - Matt. 26:38b Then he said to them, "....Stay here and keep watch with me." My friend Sue Ann works as a chaplain with SpiritCare Ministry to Seniors. She conducts lovely, gentle worship services at long-term care centers, plus she does visitation and pastoral counseling. SpiritCare recruits volunteers to do things like play the piano, help
- [Still Epiphany](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/still-epiphany.html) - Matthew 2:1–12When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. (NRSV)Sometimes the Epiphany holds still, and we can catch up with it.
- [Gazing at Jesus](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/gazing-at-jesus.html) - John 14:9 Jesus answered, "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father." During the long silence that followed the reading of John 14:1–14 this morning at St. Cuthbert's, I found myself wondering exactly what Jesus meant when he
- [Only God's money](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/only-gods-money.html) - Matthew 25:16 Right off, the first servant went to work and doubled his master's investment. This morning at St. Cuthbert's, Pamela offered each household a fifty dollar bill from the church's discretionary fund. Is she insane? Instructions: This is God's fifty dollars. Use it to invest in God's kingdom. In ninety days, tell the church
- [God's will](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/gods-will.html) - When someone is sick, people start talking about God's will.Thy will be done. What does it mean? I've heard it used several ways:"Thy will be done" as a magical prayer.It's easy to fall into the belief that if I say this special prayer before a frightening, uncertain event, then the outcome is God's will—even if
- [Memory](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/memory.html) - This hippocampus lives inside building 46 at Google in Mountain View. I walk past her* often, and I always stop. She is a dream trapped in a latex room. Most of the time she has nothing but electrical gadgets, event notices, and a couple of office plants to gaze at. Surprised (every time!) to see
- [Redemptive sadness](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/redemptive-sadness.html) - I spent three nights last month at Mercy Center in Burlingame, California. The Mercy Center has several walking paths that were created years ago by Father Thomas Hand, S.J. One of the paths, called the Water Way, leads you down a slope and into an area shadowed by trees, then along a dark creek that
- [A scrappy, messy affair](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/a-scrappy-messy-affair.html) - I'm grateful that the Easter season lasts for 50 days. I didn't go to church on Easter—I wouldn't have been able to take it all in. (Maybe that's why I didn't feel like going this year. Too big a disconnect: the agonizingly slow growth of rooted faith on one hand, and the fast-blooming cheerfulness of

## Pages

- [Katarina (Kat) Stenstedt](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/welcome-to-the-hearth/about-me) - I go by either Katarina or Kat, which I've switched to these past ten years or so, for simplicity's sake. Or Kata, if you're an old friend and you grew up calling me that. :-) To get in touch, email me at kat@sleeponthehearth.com. Writing and editing I was a professional writer and editor from 1992
- [Site credits](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/welcome-to-the-hearth/site-credits) - Copyrights All the written content and all the song recordings on this site are copyright Katarina Stenstedt. If you'd like to use any of my written content or music, please ask. About the photos Every photo on this site comes from one of four sources: I created it. Gene Anderson created it. I purchased the
- [Short stories](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/stories) - "Behind the Glass," in which a hospital chaplain copes with death during Covid; "The Gerbil Thief," in which a gerbil leaves home for parts unknown; "Edward," in which spiritual-direction gets weird; "That Sound," in which Jen has oddly comforting technology removed from her body....
- [That Sound](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/stories/that-sound) - Jen steps up to the yellow line on the train platform, thinking that today she'll make an appointment, get herself checked out to make sure nothing's wrong. Rule out anything serious, so she can stop worrying.
- [Rest Easy (a lullaby)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/rest-easy) - Easy, rest easy;Let ev'ry trouble drift away.Easy, rest easy;Love enfolds you and holds you safe. Words and music by Marilyn Power Scott©2009 Gesundheit Publishing An MP3 for use by health-care staff is available for download here. Performed by Katarina Stenstedt, 2020. Permission for to use this song during the Covid-19 pandemic is lovingly granted by the songwriter,
- [Purchasing](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/purchasing) - Interested in purchasing my music? Thank you! I'm very grateful—every sale means a lot to me. You can buy a CD directly from me in person, or you can contact me at kat@sleeponthehearth.com. CDs: By purchasing your CD directly from me, you'll pay less than you would through a reseller like Amazon, and more of
- [Contact me](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/contact-me) - Thanks for visiting Sleep on the Hearth! Please feel free to send me a message with any questions or comments you might have at kat@sleeponthehearth.com.
- [Edward](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/stories/edward) - by Katarina Stenstedt This is a short story. It is speculative fiction! I hope you enjoy it. Nothing here is meant to depict any real person (except maybe me), and if it does resemble someone else, or some cat you know, that is coincidental. A beginning, a middle, and an end. Every spiritual-direction relationship has
- [That Sound short story audiobook](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/that-sound-short-story-audiobook)
- [Sorry, Not Today](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/stories/sorry-not-today) - Allen stands at the corner of 48th and Telegraph, swaying gently in his greasy jacket, pajama bottoms, and worn out Crocs. “Got any change?” he asks. Elspeth speeds up. “Aw man! Why not today?" says Allen. No, not today, Elspeth replies to Allen in her head. It’s easiest to act like she doesn’t see him, though there's
- [Sleep on the Hearth](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/welcome-to-the-hearth) - This website takes its name and inspiration from D. H. Lawrence's poem "Pax,” which speaks of sleeping on the hearth of the living world... Pax All that matters is to be at one with the living God To be a creature in the house of the God of Life. Like a cat asleep on a chair at
- [Sleep on the Hearth (Copy)](https://www.sleeponthehearth.com/sleep-on-the-hearth-copy)

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