“There is something so astonishing about the whole notion of talking with God that sometimes I just want to lie down for a few minutes and catch my breath.
“Every once in a while I will hear someone say, ‘And I just told God that I needed this or that,’ and I wonder how it is that they are still standing up.”
— Robert Benson
(Mono Lake, California. Photo © Gene Anderson.)
A spiritual director is a compassionate, concerned observer whose task is to help people notice the ways in which God’s Spirit is moving in their lives. (Why meet with a spiritual director?)
Group spiritual direction includes times of silence, time to speak about your faith
journey, and time to listen deeply to other members of the group. A spiritual director guides the logistics of the process and helps the group to stay in a contemplative mode.
You might seek out a spiritual direction group if…
To learn more, see Rose Mary Dougherty’s online pamphlet Group Spiritual Direction: What Is It?, or her book Group Spiritual Direction.
If you happen to live in the California Bay Area, try New College Berkeley or Mercy Center.
Do you know of other resources for finding spiritual direction groups? Please leave a comment, or email me at kat@sleeponthehearth.com.
Meeting with a spiritual director can help you grow in your faith and become more fully who God created you to be. You might seek out a spiritual director if…
Typically, individual direction happens once a month for an hour, and groups meet once a month for two hours. It’s customary for spiritual directors to charge a fee.
When people are looking for a spiritual director, they often interview several directors to find out which one is right for them. The SDI site has a helpful list of questions to ask a prospective spiritual director.
For a description of how I proceed when someone contacts me about spiritual direction, see Spiritual direction agreement.
If you feel that you might have a calling as a spiritual director, the first step is to begin seeing a spiritual director yourself.
Find a spiritual director and start meeting regularly—make this one of your own spiritual practices, part of your own self-care. What better way to find out whether spiritual direction is what you imagine it to be? Ask your director for help in discerning whether you might have a call to be a spiritual director yourself.
Enter into a process of discernment. Take time to listen, think, and pray:
A few books I appreciate on the topic of discernment are Inner Compass by Margaret Silf and Hearing with the Heart by Debra Farrington.
Consider attending a program such as the DASD program at SFTS, which offers in-depth training, spiritual formation, and help with discerning your call.
For information about other training programs, see Spiritual direction training.
If you begin to offer spiritual direction in some kind of formal capacity, it’s important to have an ongoing relationship with an experienced supervisor—especially if you plan to charge money for your spiritual direction services.
Return to step 1 and start over. Keep seeing your own spiritual director. Keep testing your call. Keep learning, and keep receiving supervision. Is this work still yours to do? If not, then why are you doing it?
For more about becoming a spiritual director, see 5 steps to becoming a spiritual director. Many seminaries and retreat centers offer training programs…here are a few that I’m familiar with in the United States:
Contact me if you’d like to write a guest post for Sleep on the Hearth. I’m looking for reviews and stories about spiritual-direction training programs.
Ask around at your place of worship, or check the Spiritual Directors International Seek and Find Guide. Spiritual direction is not a licensed profession in any state or country, as far as I know, so it’s up to you to ask questions and make sure that you feel comfortable with whomever you select as your spiritual director.
Go ahead and interview potential directors: Have they received training? Do they meet regularly with a supervisor? Do they meet regularly with a spiritual director of their own? Are you comfortable with their religious tradition, approach to spirituality, and way of interacting with you? Do they charge a fee? The SDI site has a helpful list of questions to ask a prospective spiritual director.
Take time to pray and reflect on the decision, and ask your potential directors to do the same. If you notice any “uh oh” feelings or red flags as you sit with the decision, pay attention—your intuition might be telling you something that you need to know.
Ideally, every spiritual director should be under some type of supervision. The differences between spiritual direction and therapy, pastoral counseling, friendship, and caretaking are sometimes tricky to discern, and meeting regularly with a supervisor or supervision group can help.
Are you looking for a supervisor?
I am able to meet with spiritual directors for supervision sessions in person or in some cases over the phone—or I might be able to help you find a supervisor or supervision group in your area.
Are you interested in becoming a supervisor?
I know of two training programs:
If you know of other training programs that I should add to this list, please email me (Katarina) at kat@sleeponthehearth.com.
Typically, supervision sessions are an hour long, and supervision groups meet for two hours. It is customary for supervisors to charge a fee.
For a description of how I proceed when someone contacts me about supervision, see Supervision agreement.
When someone contacts me about meeting for supervision of their spiritual-direction practice, the first thing I propose is an informal meeting for coffee, or an extended phone conversation if the person lives far away. In this initial meeting, we talk about what I offer as a supervisor, what the person is expecting and hoping for from supervision, and how the logistics of a supervision relationship would work for us. It’s a chance for both of us to get a sense of each other and whether we are a good match.
After this initial conversation, we both take time to think and pray about whether we’d like to start meeting regularly. People sometimes interview multiple supervisors before they decide, which is great.
If the person and I both feel that we would like to move forward, then we need to take care of a little bit of paperwork. I set my fees on a sliding scale, so we need to determine what rate this person will use. Then I ask the person to read and sign a boilerplate agreement that covers some general ground: what services I can and cannot provide, our agreed-to rate for payment, and my commitment to confidentiality, along with the limits that I must put on that confidentiality in exceptional cases.
I use a similar process in my work as a spiritual director.
Here are the PDF versions of the agreement forms that I use in my supervision and spiritual direction relationships:
When someone contacts me about meeting for spiritual direction, the first thing I propose is an informal meeting for coffee, or an extended phone conversation if the person lives far away. In this initial meeting, we talk about what I offer as a spiritual director, what the person is expecting and hoping for from direction, and how the logistics of a direction relationship would work for us. It’s a chance for both of us to get a sense of each other and whether we are a good match.
After this initial conversation, we both take time to think and pray about whether we’d like to start meeting regularly. People often interview multiple spiritual directors before they decide, which is great.
If the person and I both feel that we would like to move forward, then we need to take care of a little bit of paperwork. I set my fees on a sliding scale, so we need to determine what rate this person will use. Then I ask the person to read and sign a boilerplate agreement that covers some general ground: what services I can and cannot provide, our agreed-to rate for payment, and my commitment to confidentiality, along with the limits that I must put on that confidentiality in exceptional cases.
I use a similar process in my work as a supervisor of other spiritual directors.
Here are the PDF versions of the agreement forms that I use in my spiritual direction and supervision relationships:
