I’ve come to peace with charging money for what I do.

In fact, I believe that my charging a fee benefits my directees, and not just me… [more]

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What is a spiritual director?

A spiritual director is a compassionate, concerned observer whose task is to help people notice the ways in which God’s Spirit is moving in their lives. (Why meet with a spiritual director?)

What is group spiritual direction?

Group spiritual direction includes times of silence, time to speak about your faith
journey, and time to listen deeply to other members of the group. A spiritual director guides the logistics of the process and helps the group to stay in a contemplative mode.

You might seek out a spiritual direction group if…

• you want to be intentional about your faith and would like to be part of a community of like-minded people,
• you are willing to rest in God’s presence on behalf of others to assist them in their ongoing discernment without trying to ”fix it” for them,
• you are drawn to contemplative, quieter forms of prayer or would like to deepen that aspect of your spiritual life.

To learn more, see Rose Mary Dougherty’s online pamphlet Group Spiritual Direction: What Is It?, or her book Group Spiritual Direction.

Looking for a spiritual direction group?

If you happen to live in the California Bay Area, try New College Berkeley or Mercy Center.

Do you know of other resources for finding spiritual direction groups? Please leave a comment, or email me at kat@sleeponthehearth.com.

Why meet with a spiritual director?

Meeting with a spiritual director can help you grow in your faith and become more fully who God created you to be. You might seek out a spiritual director if…

• you would like someone to help you notice where God is showing up in your day-to-day life and how God is calling you to live,
• you are in transition and wonder where God fits in, or you are making a decision and need help and encouragement in your discernment process,
• you plan to go on a personal retreat and want spiritual direction before or during that time,
• you are angry or doubting or having other issues with God and don’t feel free to explore it in your church or faith
  community, or
• you feel a pull toward spiritual direction for whatever reason, and simply want to give it a try.

Logistics

Typically, individual direction happens once a month for an hour, and groups meet once a month for two hours. It’s customary for spiritual directors to charge a fee.

When people are looking for a spiritual director, they often interview several directors to find out which one is right for them. The SDI site has a helpful list of questions to ask a prospective spiritual director.

For a description of how I proceed when someone contacts me about spiritual direction, see Spiritual direction agreement.

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If you feel that you might have a calling as a spiritual director, the first step is to begin seeing a spiritual director yourself.

Step 1: Find your own spiritual director

Find a spiritual director and start meeting regularly—make this one of your own spiritual practices, part of your own self-care. What better way to find out whether spiritual direction is what you imagine it to be? Ask your director for help in discerning whether you might have a call to be a spiritual director yourself.

Step 2: Discern

Enter into a process of discernment. Take time to listen, think, and pray:

• Pray for openness to either path.
  How does this prayer make you feel? Where does your mind wander to? Are you hoping for a yes? A no? Why? What really makes you want to be a spiritual director?
• Be practical. What are the pros and cons?
  Spiritual direction isn’t the road to riches. I don’t know any spiritual director who doesn’t have some other source of income. After expenses for my own spiritual direction, training, supervision, taxes, and the occasional directee who isn’t able to pay my fee, I net a few hundred dollars a year. I do this work because I love it, and because I feel called to it. (For more about money, see Why charge a fee? And how much?)
• Get help.
  Look to your spiritual director, your friends and family, a listening group, your dreams, your journal, a book, long walks with the dog, or whatever else helps you to notice the promptings of the Spirit and hear your own true voice.

A few books I appreciate on the topic of discernment are Inner Compass by Margaret Silf and Hearing with the Heart by Debra Farrington.

Step 3: Consider spiritual-direction training programs

Consider attending a program such as the DASD program at SFTS, which offers in-depth training, spiritual formation, and help with discerning your call.

For information about other training programs, see Spiritual direction training.

Step 4: Find your supervisor

If you begin to offer spiritual direction in some kind of formal capacity, it’s important to have an ongoing relationship with an experienced supervisor—especially if you plan to charge money for your spiritual direction services.

Step 5: Watch for confirmation

Return to step 1 and start over. Keep seeing your own spiritual director. Keep testing your call. Keep learning, and keep receiving supervision. Is this work still yours to do? If not, then why are you doing it?

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For more about becoming a spiritual director, see 5 steps to becoming a spiritual director. Many seminaries and retreat centers offer training programs…here are a few that I’m familiar with in the United States:

• San Francisco Theological Seminary in San Anselmo, California. The DASD program at SFTS offers in-depth training, spiritual formation, and help with the process of discerning your call to (or away from) spiritual direction.
• Mercy Center in Burlingame, California
• Shalem Institute in Bethesda, Maryland
• Bread of Life in Sacramento, California
• The Chaplaincy Institute in Berkeley, California
• The Institute of Transpersonal Psychology in Palo Alto, California

Are you a graduate of one of these programs?

Contact me if you’d like to write a guest post for Sleep on the Hearth. I’m looking for reviews and stories about spiritual-direction training programs.

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I’ve come to peace with charging money for what I do. In fact, I believe that my charging a fee benefits my directees, and not just me. Why?

1. A fee brings clarity.

Charging for spiritual direction brings definition to the relationship. When you walk into my study and hand me money, we know that the coming hour is about you. You can ask me how I’m doing, but you don’t have to. You don’t have to thank me effusively, give me gifts, or wonder if I’m expecting something.

Even if the amount is small, I find that having a transaction of some sort is helpful. I had a directee who agreed to give me $5 each time we met. Our agreement, and the carrying out of the agreement (also important), brought us the definition and clarity that I’m talking about.

I see this idea at work in my relationship with my own spiritual director: Paying him gives me freedom in our conversations. When I hand him a check, my debt is paid, and we’re square. I can relax into the clear space and let our conversation be all about my own spiritual journey. 

2. Money signifies value.

When you pay for something, you continuously re-evaluate whether it’s worth it to you. I think and pray about my meetings with my director before I go to his house, and I show up on time, because I value the gift of meeting with him. Paying him adds something to that sense of value and helps me remember the significance of the time. I stay engaged.

3. A fee makes the practice sustainable so I can keep doing it.

It takes more than an hour to offer an hour of spiritual direction. I schedule empty time before and after each session so that I can be prayerful and present with each person who comes to me. I deal with scheduling glitches and last-minute changes. I reflect, sometimes at length, on how to word sensitive emails. I read, study, and attend retreats and trainings to continue my education. I meet with a supervisor to maintain openness and transparency in my practice. (See About supervision for more about the importance of supervision.)

These things take time, and some of them cost money. But all of them, I believe, make my practice as a spiritual director more fruitful, and they all benefit my directees. Charging a fee helps me recoup my costs, but more importantly it helps me to sustain my practice without feeling resentful. I hope to offer spiritual direction for a long, long time, so I need to make sure I’m not being drained emotionally, spiritually, or financially.

How much do spiritual directors charge?

Spiritual direction fees range from three digits all the way down to zero. (Or below? Hey, maybe there’s a spiritual director somewhere who would pay you instead of you paying them!)

I’m going to list examples in descending order of amount. Bear in mind that I live in the San Francisco Bay Area in California, and we pay more for everything here than you would in, say, Nebraska. I know very little about how spiritual direction fees are handled outside the United States.

Golden poppies at Sky Farm Hermitage

• My supervisor charges $120 per session, and I believe that’s also her fee for spiritual direction. She writes and teaches on the subject of spiritual direction and has many years of experience.
• The suggested fee for spiritual direction at Soul Shepherding (in Southern California) is $110.
• This retreat center in Massachusetts charges $75 per 50-minute session.
• Victoria MacDonald charges $75 per hour-long session.
• I suggest that people pay me between $50 and $80 per hour-long session, although (like everyone else on this list, I imagine) I can accommodate those who can’t afford so much. I don’t have anyone who pays me more than $60.
• My own spiritual director told me that some people pay him more than $60, and some people pay him less. “It’s your choice,” he said. He has decades of experience, writes and teaches on the subject of spiritual direction and discernment, and is a former Jesuit.
• Group spiritual direction through New College Berkeley costs $50 per session.
• If you go to Mercy Center in Burlingame for a directed retreat, they charge $40 per direction session.
• Shalom Place offers long-distance spiritual direction (Internet plus phone) for “about $40” per session. Another article on that site recommends a donation of “at least $35” per session.
• This Nebraska Synod, ELCA site says that, “In Nebraska, fees range from $20 to $60 per hour.”

No fee at all, or optional donation:

• I see a discussion among people who find it shocking that a spiritual director would charge a fee.
• I met a spiritual director who suggests to people that they pay her what they themselves earn in an equivalent amount of time. Seems awkward to me.
• Some spiritual directors ask that you make a donation to your favorite charity. Some spiritual directors are paid by a retreat center or church and therefore don’t charge a fee, or they ask that you donate to their umbrella organization.
• In the Roman Catholic church, some priests offer spiritual direction without charging a fee, as far as I know, though donations are perhaps welcome.
• Students in the Diploma in the Art of Spiritual Direction program at SFTS are not allowed to charge a fee for offering spiritual direction while they are students.

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Ask around at your place of worship, or check the Spiritual Directors International Seek and Find Guide. Spiritual direction is not a licensed profession in any state or country, as far as I know, so it’s up to you to ask questions and make sure that you feel comfortable with whomever you select as your spiritual director.

Go ahead and interview potential directors: Have they received training? Do they meet regularly with a supervisor? Do they meet regularly with a spiritual director of their own? Are you comfortable with their religious tradition, approach to spirituality, and way of interacting with you? Do they charge a fee? The SDI site has a helpful list of questions to ask a prospective spiritual director.

Take time to pray and reflect on the decision, and ask your potential directors to do the same. If you notice any “uh oh” feelings or red flags as you sit with the decision, pay attention—your intuition might be telling you something that you need to know.

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